When’s the last time you did something really hard? Like so frustrating you want to cry, hard? For me, it was yesterday.
I had hoped to write about this more often but it seemed tedious and repetitive the first few months because I wasn’t making any head way in quite a few of my goals but now that we’re 6 months into 2019 I have made a lot of progress. If you want to read about my 19 for 2019 you can do that here and here.
“How can I say it?
The way to “get over” a life is to die.”
from The Cure by Albert Huffstickler
I recently heard this poem and this line stuck out for me. “The way to get over a life is to die”. While that initially sounds incredibly depressing it is true. The only way we’re getting out of this existence is death. And please, before I go any further, if you are reading this and feeling suicidal please stop and call 1-800-273-8255 or go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Your life matters so please get help.
Whether you are a mom feeling the pressure of every day or you are a man feeling pressure to provide for your family and everything else in between; we struggle daily to “do it all and do it with a smile”. While I’ve explained the pitfalls I’ve experienced with the do it all mentality before and how it’s just not possible, today I want to focus on the do it with a smile portion of this perfection disease we’re coping with.
In the interest of staying true to the goal of this page and spreading reality instead of false ideals: I cannot make hard-boiled eggs well.
Now don’t get me wrong I KNOW how to make hard-boiled eggs but it always goes wrong.
How much time do we really have? I have been struggling since the Munchkin, and to be honest, since before the Munchkin, to figure out what I REALLY like to do. What are my hobbies as an adult? I do a great job of “adulting” and taking care of the productive to do list but what do I do for fun? What does it feel like to be “alive” for me?
The Mr. has been away for work since Sunday, he came back today but I am so ready for him to come home. I’m really not good at doing this by myself. Sometimes I’m not good at doing this with him either but I really suck as a toddler mom (or just mom) some days. And I’m not saying this out of a place of self-pity or a place of anxiety. I am just not the best at handling the illogical little human that currently tries to run the house and throws a fit when things don’t go her way. I didn’t realize milk tastes different when it’s in the blue cup versus the pink cup. I didn’t realize food tastes different with the Moana fork but alas here we are.
I know I’ve only been at this gig for almost three years but I’ve developed some philosophies about parenting in that short time. The internet is a treasure trove or minefield so take this as nothing more than my own experience and mantras, both as a high school teacher and a mom.
I’ve been thinking a lot about self care. I’m not sure where I am in my self-care journey since I’m still trying to figure out how to live in the “messy middle” of getting it right and just getting it done but but I have come to realize a few things about self-care….
Here we are, one month into 2019. One twelfth down, or 8.3%, eleven-twelfths left. I had posted about my goals for 2019 here and thought I could write an update every month to see how it’s going; that will also help keep me thinking about them. Here’s my 19 for 2019 list that is hanging on my fridge: