This year was the first year I attempted the “one word” for the year and you can see my post here about choosing the word “forward”. I chose forward for a lot of different reasons but mainly because I felt like I had stalled in my adulthood. It wasn’t really in a bad way but I felt like I had hit a wall in my growth and was just trying to find out who I was as a person again. I think all in all I did pretty well in 2018.
I had specifically chosen 3 areas to move forward in: health, family, and blog.
- Health – I have definitely made progress in taking care of my health. I may not have made as much progress from on the numbers side as I would have liked but I made so much progress in the mental and emotional game of healthy living. For many, many, many years I had been focusing on my health and healthy habits as a punitive measure. I was doing things from a place of hate and self-loathing. Not because I necessarily hated myself but because I didn’t fit into the societal mold of what a woman should look like (or act like). It’s weird being a person who likes herself but then has to fight the onslaught of how you’re not what you’re “supposed” to be. I had come to terms with that many years ago but from a body image perspective I was still pretty hard on myself. In 2018 I made great strides in taking care of my health because I love my body and all it’s been able to accomplish and wanting it to be around as long as possible. I finally got to a place where choosing a healthier option came from a place of love and acceptance while also not subscribing to any set rules or restrictions. If I wanted Halloween candy I had some. If I wanted a cookie, I had one. But something amazing happened: Halloween candy lasted over a month in this house and I never felt deprived or like I was working really hard to abstain from the candy/cookies/whatever. This mental shift has been amazing and freeing. I’m hoping I can continue this into now acting on the exercise piece of the puzzle to create a much more healthy life but one that is sustainable.
- Family – I wanted to move out of Babci’s and back into our own space. That was accomplished but home ownership is not without it’s bumps and bruises. Of course projects always take longer when you’re doing it yourself and you’re working. Currently we’re in the process of fixing the mudroom (a few months behind schedule) but the house is ours, it’s liveable, and the Munchkin has really been able to grow and blossom in the new space. She has space for her toys and she has the ability to have those toys in places or ways where she’s comfortable playing with them without constant supervision which makes getting things done (like cooking) or some downtime (like reading more than a couple pages in a book before I fall asleep) easier. I know I’ll miss it when she doesn’t want to play with me anymore but some days I’m so grateful for the few minutes she can occupy herself. I have also worked on turning my phone off more (I did have to get a new phone and found this amazing app called QualityTime which can effectively lock out your phone for periods of time). I’m still working on the marriage part of this but the Mr. and I have been able to carve out some more time for just the two of us in various ways. Sometimes it’s only a few minutes before one of us picks the Munchkin up from daycare but we’ve done a better job at finding it. Another thing I hope to continue working on in 2019.
- Blog – And finally this hobby of mine. I’ve thought long and hard about what I want out of this platform and how I want to make it a part of my life and I decided that I’m happy with what it is at the moment I would just like to grow the community of it. I thought about looking for ways to monetize this but decided that would be too much work for the season of life I am currently in. I want to grow my community but I don’t want this to become an obligation for me. I started it way back when as a hobby for myself doing something I used to love. I still enjoy it but am I going to try and turn it into a job? No, I already have a job that I love, this is a hobby that works as a creative outlet that I can do on very limited time after the Munchkin is in bed. I am grateful for everyone who does read this and I hope you find helpful information, some solidarity in this thing called “life” or I’ve at least made you laugh over the course of 2018 and that is what I am going to continue to try and do in 2019. It was good for me to seriously think about what I wanted from this and what I was willing to put into getting it. It is powerful to say “nope, I’m just going to continue being mediocre” and in the blogosphere I always feel like there are people constantly playing the one-upmanship game. I’m not here to try and sell anything. I want to share my experiences as a semi-productive, busy, imperfect human being in the hopes that someone out there might feel exactly the same and see that it’s not all perfect but it all still can work.
I’m still wrestling with exactly what I want to do in 2019. I have been inspired by a few different “new year’s” plans. I think I’m going to keep with the one word because I do believe it gave me a touchstone for the year and kept me grounded in what I was trying to accomplish but I’m thinking of either adding in a 19 for 2019 list or a happiness project; both from Gretchen Rubin and the Happier Podcast. I don’t want to do both of them because I feel like it will be too overwhelming so I’m trying to decide on my word and how I’m going to pursue it in the new year. Since 2019 is almost 2 weeks away I should probably spend some quality time thinking….